Happy Anniversary to me!

     Today marks the day that I quit smoking 3 years ago. I was a smoker for 21 years. The first time I ever tried smoking I was 11 or 12. I wasn't doing it right- just puffing, not inhaling. My mom caught me and had me sit down at the kitchen table with her.  She asked me if I wanted to smoke...... She gave me one and had me smoke it in front of her. She told me to inhale. I think I got through 2 or 3 cigarettes and then I puked. That kept me from cigarettes until I was 16 and I got a job. Durning a busy day I went to the break room (in 1987 it was ok to smoke indoors and in a employee break room) and I asked for a cigarette from another employee. When you first start smoking it really does give you a buzz, a kinda of head rush. It also makes you sick to your stomach so you lose your appetite. After a few years you don't have the same side effects. You don't feel nausea anymore; but you feel like your gonna die if you don't get nicotine on a regular basis. I was a shit about quitting too. I had friends that urged me to quit. I would say things like "Why? I like it. It works for me. Im not hurting anyone else. Everyone's got to have at least one vice- right?"
     The day that I quit was my 4th attempt to quit. Everything changed. Not knowing at the time that I had already made changes to support this decision. I was dating a non-smoker. Being in a relationship kept me from going out to bars; where I would drink...and smoke. My circle of friends changed because of my new relationship. I stopped hanging out with single girls who went out at night looking for guys.
I really believe the combination of changing my daily routine and then changing who I was around was the recipe for success for me.
     In the end its not about smoking. Its about dealing. Smoking is an addiction the same as overeating, alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex...you name it. Becoming emotionally happy or stable requires a clear mind,  a willingness to sort through what is bothering you, and taking some responsibility for your own happiness. Addiction is just an escape.
    I think I am happier now. I smell better anyway :)